The end of the World?

Leanne pointed out Charlie Brooker’s column in the Guardian today, it just about sums everything up – hilarious:

“And it had to happen, obviously. For years, money was just appearing from nowhere, or so we were told. People bought houses and bragged about how the value kept zooming up, and up, and up. In fact they didn’t seem to be houses at all, but magic coin-shitting machines. It was all a dream, a dream in which you bought a box and lived in it, and all the time it generated money like a cow generates farts. Great big stinking clouds of money. And none of it was real. And now it’s gone. Your house is worth less than your shoes, and your shoes are now, in turn, worth less than your mouth and your arse. Yes, your most valuable possessions are now your mouth and your arse, and you’re going to have to use both of them in all manner of previously unthinkable ways to make ends meet, to pay for that box, the box you live in, the one you mistook for an enchanted, unstoppable cash engine. I hope you’ve got a nice kitchen. Maybe that’ll take your mind off things. And sell that Alessi smoothie maker while you’re about it. You can’t afford fruit any more. It’s tap water at best from now on. It’s good for you! Really, it is.

All of it was a dream. All that crap we bought, all the bottled water and Blu-Ray players and designer shoes and iPod Shuffles and patio heaters; all the jobs we had; all the catchphrases we memorised and the stupid things we thought. Everything we did for the past 10 years – none of it really felt real, did it? Time to snap out of it. Time to grow our own vegetables and learn hand-to-hand combat with staves. And time, perhaps, to really start living.”

One thought on “The end of the World?”

  1. Yup, it had to happen at some point and now it has. I expect those house prices to be heading downwards for a good while longer yet though.

    Just think, houses may become affordable again in the future! Your average Joe able to buy a modest house for his family to LIVE in without having to mortgage yourself up to the eye-balls and consign yourself to 40 years of hard labour just to keep up with the repayments, lest should you fall behind and Mr Gleeful Bank will come and take it back from you.

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